Is it the dancing juice?
by Sabertron15
Summary: Peter would readily admit that flirting wasn't exactly his forte but even he knew he was being as subtle as a kick to the head! Deadpool was just completely oblivious to the fact he was genuinely flirting with him! Well, Peter thought stubbornly, let it never be said that Spider-Man was a quitter! (Already published on my Archive of our own account under LoLottie, link in bio)
1. Prologue

Delving into the spideypool fanfiction, been my main OTP for years now but never wrote a fic! It is now time to correct that.  
This story has already been published on my Archive of our own account (where all the mature x-rated chapters will be posted to) under my other pseudonym LoLottie. Link to that account is in my bio.  
ONWARDS TO THE STORY!

* * *

"When I'm around you I can't think straight."  
Pupils blew wide, scrutinising the scene in front of him for any sign of recognition...palms began to sweat profusely as they were rested anxiously on jittery legs, unable to keep still even for a second in the face of such a magically life changing moment.  
 _'This was it...'_  
He thought, licking his suddenly dry lips in apprehension.  
 _'I mean how could I get more obvious?'  
_ Peter leaned forward, crossing his legs and resisting the urge to bounce up and down in his excitement.

 _'Surely Wade will pick up on that line?'_  
Alas the young man's glee was short lived as an obnoxiously loud sigh broke his internal victory party.  
"You too?! Everyone says that! It's always 'get out Deadpool, can't think straight and I have to concentrate' or 'Shut up, can't think straight with you around'..."  
Peter felt his eyes grow wider in disbelief and, to his own annoyance, felt his bottom lip begin to quiver...he'd been so sure that one would work! He started to blink rapidly to get rid of the sudden dust that had managed to get into his eyes...under the mask...they weren't repressed tears of failure...not at all and shoved the rest of his sandwich ungracefully into his mouth.

Chewing aggressively to stave off that weird new lip twitch he'd just developed, he watched the now irate Merc wave the remains of his lunch around as he gestured wildly at Spiderman, who was trying and failing to get that darn dust out of his eyes through sheer willpower.  
"Stark said the same thing! Wasn't as if I _knew_ he need to concentrate on the damn stupid bomb thing...thought he was meant to be like, a multi-tasking super genius AND another thing!..."  
Peter slouched miserably, huddling further into the little shelter Deadpool had made to protect them from the bleak weather...or rather made to protect _him_ from the thunderous rain.  
 _'You're so tiny baby boy, you'll catch fume-onia or something out here, let me keep you warm sweet cheeks.'  
_ Instead of being warmed up in the way he had so desperately wanted, Deadpool had pulled a large roll of tarpaulin from seemingly know where and proceeded to string it up to some poles he'd found on the roof...complete with a buttload of warm fuzzy blankets...the young man had learned long ago to stop questioning the Merc about his Mary Poppins style pockets. It normally ended up with a patronising pat on the head and a _'I'll tell you when you're a big boy.'_

Glancing over at the still ranting man he was slightly amused to see he was _still_ eating his food, albeit with bits of it flying everywhere whilst he whined. He sighed mournfully...then again as he dreamily watched Deadpool's muscles ripple under the skin tight spandex that left nothing to the imagination. Suddenly he felt annoyance flare threw him.

 _'How dare he rant at me when I've been flirting with him for months?! It's not my fault he's so god damn oblivious!'_  
He'd tried everything! **EVERYTHING!**

Peter glared venomously at his red and black counterpart, who froze instantly at the weight of the stare. Hand frozen and mouth gaping open almost comically in mid bite of his lunch.

Audibly gulping the Merc stopped raving to cast an uneasy glance at the smaller man.

"Everything all right spidey baby?"

Peter could feel his eye beginning to twitch uncontrollably underneath his mask and ground out.

"Everything's fine."

Taking a deep breath he smirked, a small flare of hope bursting in him once again. Maybe his friend would get it _this_ time?  
Changing his voice into what was hopefully a flirty and seductive tone he purred.

"Anyway, I've got the buns, do you have the hot dog?"

Deadpool eyed his lunch suspiciously before turning to face Peter fully, tilting his head like a confused puppy he said.

"It's right here...and it already has a bun...thanks though."

Never before in his life had Spider-Man felt the urge to cry as much as he did right in that moment.


	2. Lay me down or not

The rain hammered against the windows of the derelict building, rattling the thin glass violently in their frames. The weather was even more horrendous than it had been the day before.  
Peter walked over to one of the numerous windows and reflected on his slightly creepy surroundings. Despite the sorry state of the place, he liked it here. It was quirky and it surprisingly made him feel relaxed.  
' _Or maybe that's because everything just screams Deadpool.'_  
He chuckled lightly to himself, casting a quick glance around the warehouse he was currently hidden away in. It was one of Wade's numerous 'safe houses' that were spread all over the city. Crates full of god's knew _what_ littered the entire warehouse, some stacks nearly reaching the ceiling and...was that a chair made out of explosives?  
Peter blanched as he caught site of it.  
' _Please don't let it explode_ ' He thought anxiously, wearily eyeing the hundreds of boxes as well as the...chair.  
' _If he's got an exploding chair...I don't even want to know what's in the crates.'_  
He shuddered, determinedly ignoring the fact anything could go **boom** in this place at any time. If his spider sense didn't go off it wasn't worth worrying about...he hoped.  
Exhaling loudly he turned his attention back to the laptop sitting inconspicuously on a solitary crate.  
"This is all _your_ fault" he growled at it.  
If only the stupid thing hadn't broken he would have been in a completely different situation. The sort of situation which didn't involve any clothes for example.  
He glared at it before looking out the window again, wait a minute...was that movement?  
Pressing himself up to the glass to try and make out the figure in the distance, he snorted. It was just Deadpool, fluorescent pink rain coat and all. Peter giggled slightly at the sight stopping quickly when it sunk in that Wade was coming _back_.

"SHIT!" he yelped, he hadn't even started trying to fix the damn laptop!  
He scurried quickly back over to the evil computer and the rather comfy pile of cushions Deadpool had given him to sit on. Powering it on and silently praying Wade hadn't seen him, the Merc had gone out for food nearly an hour ago and was probably expecting some sort of progress on his stupid laptop by now.  
Peter sighed dejectedly at the screen, pop-ups and flashing boxes screamed 'VIRUSES FOUND' at him over and over again...this really wasn't how he'd imagined his night going.

 _Two hours ago:_

"Oh my god Spidey! Did you like see that guy? We totally kicked his ass, well mainly me but O.M.G!"  
Peter chuckled as Deadpool enthusiastically recounted their fight with Shocker earlier. The beer he was holding sloshing everywhere as the Merc waved his hands madly.  
Tuning Wade out slightly, he looked around. The bar Deadpool had dragged him to was certainly one he'd never have visited on his own. It was dingy and falling apart with the overheard lights flickering weakly, casting everything in an almost sinister glow. Definitely one of the more shadier places he'd been dragged to by the other man. At least it wasn't the sort of place to question two full grown men running around in tight spandex.  
"Want another round? I'll buy?" Peter said standing, nearly falling over himself as Deadpool launched at him to keep him in place.  
"No. No. NO! Not so fast Shelob!"

"HEY!"  
The red and black menace pushed firmly on his shoulders to make Peter sit back down, ignoring Spiderman's offended outburst at the name.  
"I invited you, so I'm paying. YO! JOE! TWO MORE OVER HERE!" Deadpool screamed, hand waving manically in the air at the startled barman.  
"So anyway as I was saying, don't interrupt..."  
"I didn't..."  
Before he could finish protesting he felt a finger press tightly against his lips, Deadpool grinned.  
"Not you shush! As I was _saying_ before you two so rudely interrupted...I was watching porn on my laptop when suddenly it just crashed! CRASHED! Can you believe it? I was sooo close too bro, so close!"  
Peter squeaked, face flushing with embarrassment. Thankfully Spiderman's mask still covered enough of his face to hide the bright red blush he was now sporting. When an Earth did Deadpool get onto that particular line of conversation?  
Realising the Merc was now going into a very lengthy and very _detailed_ description of what exactly he'd been watching, Peter slapped his hands over his ears.  
"La la la la! I can't hear you!"  
He knew it was immature of him, especially considering he was trying his damn hardest to get into the other man's bed...but he really didn't want to hear about Deadpool's weird porn.  
He'd made that mistake once and he'd made a promise that he would never subject himself to that torture again.  
He looked up to see the crazy Merc leering at him across the table.  
"Oh Spidey baby did I hurt your poor virgin ears?"  
Spiderman scowled at the cackling mercenary, before grinning slyly.  
"Hey if you won't let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop."

 _Present time:_

Of course the scatterbrained idiot had taken Peter literally, flinging the dejected spider over his shoulder and racing out of the run-down bar. Spiderman had stared sadly at his abandoned mojito as Deadpool hurried out, not even the sounds of the indignant barman squawking over the unpaid tab could make him crack a smile. Although Wade flipping the poor man off without turning around, _did_ cause the corners of his mouth to turn up slightly in amusement.  
That is how Peter found himself stuck here, in one of Wade's many hidey-holes attempting to fix the thoroughly virus ridden thing the Merc dared call a laptop.  
"YO BUG BOY I'M BACK!"  
"Arachnid." Peter responded absentmindedly.  
Determinedly ignoring the collection of porn videos drowning the desktop as he scanned for viruses. He was especially ignoring the one titled' _Snow W$%!e and the seven dongs'._ He was trying to fix the damn thing after all, couldn't very well do that if he was being traumatised again by the other man's really odd taste.  
"Got your favourite babe." Deadpool threw the take-out bag at him.  
It was only his quick reflexes that allowed him to catch it, instead of it ending up all over him.  
Suspiciously the smaller man peered into the bag, normally saying ' _got your favourite'_ meant Wade had got **his** favourite. Which usually meant a variety of Mexican food, that was nearly always tacos.  
Perking up immediately as he spotted the little plastic tubs of Chinese food, he grinned broadly at the mecernary.  
"Aw you really did get my favourite this time!"  
Deadpool laughed lightly, striding over to the greenish blob of explosive chair and flopping down in it.  
"You complained so much last time, we decided to be good and get food you'd eat...and not throw at me...I hate laundry man! I'd rather not have to keep washing my suits cus you're bitchy bout delicious hot taco goodness!"  
Peter full out laughed at that, he'd been having a really bad day a few weeks back and Deadpool had promised to meet him near central park with Chinese in order cheer him up. Instead the loudmouth had turned up with bags of...tacos. After having his arse handed to him by the green goblin Peter had been really looking forward to that food. Needless to say Deadpool had ended up alone and covered head to toe in Mexican food.

"So was it whites idea to actually be a good boy this time?" Spiderman smirked, rolling his mask up to his nose.  
"Pfffft as if, totally came up with the idea all by myself, NO! You shut up! I totally did!"  
Letting Wade argue with himself Peter tucked into the large bag of spring rolls. He'd eat the rest in a minute, spring rolls where his favourite after all and he'd be damned if he let Deadpool scoff the lot like he normally did.  
It had taken a while for him to get used to the older man's tendency to talk to himself and had taken him even longer to accept the fact the man genuinely saw floating boxes that talked to him.  
His aunt had brought him up to accept everyone however, no matter their flaws and considering the Merc's history. Well, Peter thought he was entitled to have a couple of boxes in his head without getting ridiculed for it.  
It was still sometimes confusing though when Deadpool spoke, Peter wasn't always sure if he was talking to himself or his ' _companions_ '.

Lost in his thoughts he didn't even notice his friend sneaking closer until all of a sudden the precious bag of rolls were yanked out of his grip. Peter cursed the fact his spider sense never went off around the cretin anymore and leapt after his precious food.  
Deadpool just cackled gleefully and pranced away, prize in hand. Deadpool waved the bag tauntingly before shoving the last of the rolls into his mouth all at once, twirling around in an odd form of ballet all the while.  
The laptop pinged loudly to signal the end of it's scan and Peter turned away from the evil, horrible man that had stolen his amazing treat.  
Looking at the little browser icon that had started bouncing on the screen, he sniggered quietly. He picked up a pillow pulling nonchalantly at the loose threads on it, annoyance at the food thief temporarily forgotten.  
"I see you use internet explorer, you must like it nice and slow." He teased.  
Deadpool stopped his 'dancing' to stare owlishly at the younger man.  
"Nah not really, it's rubbish for downloading porn...HEY! Could you get me a different one whilst your fixing it?"  
Peter twitched before shoving his face firmly into the pillow, screaming in frustration before falling back onto the floor.  
Deadpool shrieked girlishly from across the room.

"NO SPIDEY I WON'T LET THAT VILLAINOUS PILLOW HURT YOU!"  
He didn't even so much as twitch as the Merc began violently trying to pull the pillow off his face. After all his super strength far surpasses Wade's and he just wanted to die a little in peace right now.  
' _F £k my life.'_


	3. Coffee Date

Thick mist obscured his vision, yet still Peter stayed exactly where he was. Frozen in place, unbothered by the fog that blocked his sight.  
 _'Just like the thick mist of unrequited love and despair that clouds my mind.'_ Peter thought sullenly as he heaved a loud mournful sigh.  
"Oh for _goodness_ sake Peter!"  
Suddenly his view became startlingly clear and he yelped in indignation, glaring at the fiery red-headed woman that had just stolen his glasses.  
The young woman casually cleaned the glasses with the bottom of her blouse before shoving them carelessly back onto his nose.  
"Now Peter, sweetheart, are you going to tell old auntie MJ what's up?" Mary-Jane said lightly, placing her head in one hand and raising an eyebrow mockingly.  
"MJ..."  
"Don't you ' _MJ_ ' me buster!" She jabbed a finger into his face abruptly, almost poking him up the nose with the force she thrust her hand out.  
"All you've done since we got here is sat there sighing and staring forlornly at your coffee like it just stole your lunch money!"

Peter winced, he had to admit he was being a bit melodramatic today. He ran a hand through his honey-brown hair and glanced up at his best friend thoughtfully. Mary-Jane was his closest friend next to Gwen and well...she was a lot more emotionally supportive and sympathetic compared to Gwen.  
His other friend could be bit...abrupt, specially if she thought he was being an idiot. The sort of situation he was in, definitely needed a bit of the MJ sympathy. It also didn't hurt that Mary-Jane knew he was Spiderman, it made some things a bit easier to explain...like black eyes and bloodied noses.  
"Well...do you remember that err new friend I told you about nearly a year ago?"  
MJ's eyes narrowed suspiciously, an almost knowing glint beginning to sparkle in her soft green eyes.  
"Oh yeah? The one that was driving you up the wall, _literally,_ by grabbing your ass and making really inappropriate propositions towards you? The one you said you hated? That one?"  
Peter flushed guiltily, shifting uncomfortably in his seat at the almost predatory way MJ grinned at him from across the small table.  
"Yeah...that would...be the one..."  
He quickly swept his gaze around the small, chic coffee shop Mary-Jane had pulled him into; determinedly ignoring the red-head's amused look. He admired the numerous bookshelves that lined the walls and the huge chalk boards full of the names and creative scribblings of previous guests.  
A soft cough brought his attention back to MJ, whose smile had widened dramatically. She looked almost shark-like with the way she beamed at him.  
"What's he doing now?"  
Peter scoffed and threw his arms up.  
"It's what he's not doing that's the problem!"  
Sudden laughter made him jump and he stared at MJ wildly as she cackled loudly to herself.  
"OH PETER!" She giggled. "I knew it!"  
"Knew what?" He pouted, not appreciating her seemingly random laughter.

Still snickering shrilly MJ said.  
"About your little crush!"  
The brunette spluttered furiously. How could she have known that? He'd only just accepted he had a crush on Wade himself a few months back! Plus he'd only really been making a proper effort to date him recently, not counting the months of back and forth flirting. Scowling he opened his mouth to ask but was cut off by a flippantly waved hand in his direction.  
"No one ever complains so venomously about someone unless they really genuinely loath them or have a mad crush on them."  
She folded her hands on the table and leant forward, wolfish smile still firm on her face.  
"And you my dear complained far to _passionately_..." Mary-Jane purred the word.  
"And far too often, to hate him."  
Peter groaned out loud, putting his head firmly in his hands and tugging lightly on his hair.  
"I take it; Wade was it? Hasn't bent you over the nearest surface and shagged you six ways from Sunday yet then?"  
Peter jolted upright, squeaking in embarrassed alarm and knocking his head firmly into the bookshelf behind him.  
"Mary-Jane Watson!" He yelped, equal parts horrified, flustered and dreadfully amused.  
Laughing uproariously she patted his hand in faux sympathy.  
"Nothing worse than when you're pining for someone and they just don't get the hint to take you against the nearest wall."  
"MJ!" Peter grinned broadly, embarrassment dying down to be replaced with pure amusement.  
"What?" She giggled, sipping her mocha demurely. Innocence practically radiating from her person.  
He snorted unflatteringly.  
"It is true, it's driving me mental...I mean ever since I met him he flirts all the time! Well he flirts with everyone but especially with me...it might be a bit of hero worship but I really thought he was interested!" Peter sighed sadly.  
"Now I'm not so sure."  
Mary-Jane smiled gently, genuine sympathy on her face as she looked at him.

"It may be a case of hero worship but from what you've told me about Wade, sounds like a lot of the flirting he does with others is just to get attention."  
Peter slumped dejectedly causing MJ to quickly reach across and grab his hands, squeezing reassuringly.  
"Buuuut." She stressed. "It also sounds like he doesn't quite treat others the same as he does you, much more touchy feely for example."  
Chuckling, he squeezed her hands back. He noted the beautifully glittering engagement ring on her left hand and smiled widely.  
"Harry's lucky to have you MJ, as for Wade...like I said, I just don't know anymore...at first when I realised I had a crush on him I just started playing his game back you know?"  
MJ nodded seriously a slight smile on her lips.  
"Then when sort of nice, normal flirting didn't get me anywhere...well..." He pulled one of his hands away to rub the back of his neck sheepishly.  
"I started thinking about the stupid pick up lines his always throwing around...and started throwing them back at him, see if that worked."  
The serious expression struggled to remain on Mary-Jane's face as her smile started widening against her will.

"Didn't go as planned?"  
"Argh no! He takes me LITERALLY every time I say anything!"  
That was it, all seriousness was lost as MJ burst into full bellied laughs, eyes streaming...Peter had told her enough about the sort of things Wade shouted at him to probably come up with a reasonable guess at some of the cheesy lines Peter had been using.  
She wiped her eyes furiously with the back of her sleeve, chuckles slowly lowering in volume and intensity.  
"Oh Sweetheart you're such a dork! I love you so much!" She giggled, fanning herself and smiling widely.  
"Why don't you just tell him out right that you like him?"  
Peter snorted again, smiling ruefully.  
"I tried that."  
"Didn't work either?"  
"He patted my head, said I was a ' _itsie bitsie cutie wootie pie_ ' and walked off."  
The red-head, whose face was slowly starting to match her hair from laughter, had to quickly clap a hand over her mouth to prevent another loud outburst.  
"Didn't take you seriously then?"  
"Nop." He said, popping the _P_.  
"Why don't you just grab him, roll the mask up, and snog the living daylights out of him?"  
Peter blushed furiously.  
"I don't think I'm quite confident enough to do that MJ."  
She shook her head disappointedly at him.  
"Well, if you're not going to do _that_ lets arm you with some more lame pick ups!"  
She quickly whipped her phone out of her bag and after a few seconds waiting for the internet to load up, began rattling off a long list of some of the most cheesiest lines Peter had ever heard of.  
He grinned at her, sometimes he wished he was straight or that MJ was a bloke. Everything would be easier. Then he thought of Wade and the phone call he'd received earlier that morning and smiled widely. He would never be able to listen to Abba's ' _Dancing Queen'_ in quite the same way ever again.


	4. Baby you're a knockout

A loud explosion rocked his bed causing Peter to roll over with an annoyed grumble. Hand flailing for his alarm clock and missing spectacularly in his tired state. A high pitched whining noise echoed in his ears and he groggily lifted his head up enough to look around. Eyebrows furrowing as he looked around himself; when had his mattress been replaced with a concrete floor?...And why had he worn his suit to bed? He always took if off before sleeping, no matter how tired he was.  
He cautiously sat up, feeling his face and starting when he realised he still had his mask on.

' _How strange_.' He thought.

Spiderman jumped slightly when he felt hot liquid ooze down the side of his face and neck, lifting a hand he gingerly prodded where the liquid was coming from. He hissed in pain as his hand touched a rather long gash covering his forehead, the blood thick enough to leave a dark stain on his glove.  
' _Great_.' He thought waspishly.  
Glancing up he noted the completely desolated street he was sitting in the middle of. He poked the cut again, wincing and laughing as his hand came away sticky.

' _Heh, sticky._ ' He giggled immaturely. _'Uh oh...here comes the adrenaline rush!'  
_ Peter hated adrenaline rushes they made him either burst into tears, like the last time he went to the dentist, or really giggly stupid. The sort of giggly stupid you get after downing one too many shots.

A loud crash caught his attention and he watched in distracted fascination as Deadpool went flying through the air, landing spectacularly on top of a cab. The yellow roof caving in under the impact, glass from the windows spraying out in all directions.  
"I didn't know you could fly Wade!" Peter shouted in confusion, still sitting on the floor cross legged.  
Spiderman grinned dopily, as the Merc pulled himself out of the totalled car. Deadpool looked over at him, popping his shoulder back into place with just a quick flick and crack.  
"Well you give my heart wings Spidey baby."  
Peter couldn't help the shockingly loud coo that escaped him, twittering bashfully and fluttering his eyelashes at the taller man. Completely forgetting that the now baffled mercenary, couldn't see his eyes behind the mask.  
"Errrr Spiderman? You alright down there kiddo?"  
Before Peter could answer in the affirmative and wildly claim his love for the Adonis that was Wade Wilson, he was rather rudely interrupted by Doctor Octopus slinging Deadpool up and into the air.

Huffing slightly he crossed his arms and scowled at the stupid man.  
"That was really mean." He pouted, not even wincing when Deadpool landed with a loud ' _WHUMPH_ ' of air.  
"Oooowww my spleen."  
Deadpool pushed himself up off the floor, bones cracking and snapping loudly back into place. Wade rubbed his neck, shooting an indescribable look at Peter. Who was _still_ sitting on the floor, although he was now waving his hands and throwing rude gestures at ...the villain looking increasingly murderous by the second.  
The mad man roared angrily at one particularly creative insult Peter threw at him; Deadpool decided that was as good as time as any to interfere.

Peter's eyes widened dramatically behind his mask as Doctor Octopus charged at him, arms flailing in their attempt to grab him.  
He released a high pitched scream, that rung loudly in his pounding head, and scooted backwards on the pavement.  
A red and black blur cut the Doctor off before he could reach the panicking spider.  
"HEY! DOC! Forget Spiderman! I'll be you're man!"  
Spiderman watched in awe as Deadpool delivered a well timed, jaw cracking kick to the stunned villain's head. The man fell to the floor in a crumpled heap, out cold and down for the count. Deadpool then proceeded to kick Octavius in the stomach repeatedly, shouting.  
"No. One. Hurts. My. Little. Spider. Jackass." Each word was punctuated by painful, crunching blows to the unconscious man.  
Peter felt slightly surprised at himself when instead of telling Deadpool off like he would have normally done, he started applauding...loudly...and wolf whistling.

' _Must be the blood loss._ ' He thought dizzily.

"Are you a boxer? Cus baby you're a knockout!" He shouted, even though his voice was wobbly and his vision was spinning he still managed to grin widely. His mask stretching with the movement and making him look slightly deranged.  
Deadpool paused, a concerned look flickering across the merc's mask.

' _How does he do that._ ' Peter thought.  
"You ok baby boy?" He asked, warily approaching the sitting spider.  
"Wanna go on an 'ate'?"  
Wade cocked his head in confusion at him.  
"I'll give you the 'D' later!" Spiderman giggled, waving his hands madly at the merc.  
Deadpool choked out a laugh, crouching down to Peter's level and eyeing the seeping head wound that was still leaking blood all down his mask.  
The merc released a hiss of air as he examined the cut.  
"Well darling, looks like I'm going to be carrying you back to my place."  
Wade glanced at him up and down, before quickly swooping and picking him up bridal style.  
"Always thought your suit would look great on my bedroom floor."  
Deadpool winked at him cheekily, tightening his grip on Peter and beginning to walk in a seemingly random direction. Spiderman watched his mask intensely, fascinated at the emotions so easily seen through it.

 _'_ _How_ ** _does_** _he do that_?!"

Peter threw his arms around the taller man's collard neck, burying his head under the strong chin and sighing wistfully. He missed the way the man tensed under the action, steps faltering slightly before returning to their long, determined stride.  
"Be my penguin Wade?"  
Deadpool let out a hearty laugh, the sound reverberating pleasantly through Peter's body.  
"Not short enough to be a penguin, unlike you spidey! Besides, you've seen this face! Look more like something from the walking dead than a small bird in a tuxedo!"  
Peter sniggered quietly, melting more firmly into the merc's hold. Enjoying the way the man's arms tightened protectively around him.  
"Well I think you're the cutest zombie I've ever seen."  
That caused such a sudden boisterous laugh that Deadpool's hold loosened a fraction. Peter smiled soppily, he really loved Wade and maybe it was all the adrenaline pumping in his system or the dizziness from the blood loss but he really truly adored this man.  
He pushed himself determinedly into Deadpool's firm chest, trying to burrow himself as deeply into that comforting hold as he could.  
"I really love you're laugh Wade." Peter said softly closing his eyes as tiredness settled in swiftly.

He didn't notice as Deadpool's laugh abruptly cut off, nor the way the merc stared dumbly down at him. Quickly slipping into sleep, Peter also didn't notice the fond smile the merc shot him, obvious even through the mask.


	5. Love is a drug

"How could you _not_ notice?" A man yelled, voice muffled slightly as if he was shouting from another room.  
"Look, I was a little bit preoccupied with the blood pouring from his head and the delirious babbling ok? I thought he had brain damage or something! Give me a god damn break you overgrown tin can!" Another man said, annoyance clear in the tone even though the voice was barely above a whisper.  
"The only one with brain damage here is you! How could you let him fall asleep as well?!"  
A loud growl echoed in his head and Peter winced, curling himself into a ball and praying whoever was having a screaming match, would shut the hell up.

Everything hurt, it was too loud, too bright and his head was thumping as if a herd of elephants had decided having a disco in his brain was a _great_ idea. All the voices surrounding him sounded muffled and it was difficult to make out any words over the pounding in his head.  
"I checked to see if he was bleeding anywhere other than the cut and nothing! Ok? Normally when you've hit your head hard enough to do serious damage there's blood coming from at least one orifice! Trust me I'd know!"  
"YOU TOOK HIS MASK OFF?!"  
"Keep it down asshole! No I didn't take his mask off, I lifted it enough to check. Give me some credit."  
A new quieter voice cut the other two off from their increasingly loud argument.  
"We won't know anything until Spiderman wakes up, I removed the dart from his leg and I'm currently running some tests on it...I'll need to take some blood samples as well to see what affect that drugs had on the kids system."  
An aggressive snarl interrupted the third man.

"Oh blood test is that all, not planning on finding out what makes Spiderman tick and trying to replicate it huh?"  
"What? NO!" the third man sounded incredibly offended at the idea.  
"Excuse me if I don't believe you _Doctor._ "  
"Look _,_ I only need to know what exactly was shot at Spiderman, what affects it will have or if it's already out of his system ok? You can come down to the labs with me when I do the tests and watch me destroy the samples after OK?"  
There was a long lengthy pause before the man gave a soft ' _OK'_ as answer.  
"He'll be alright though won't he?"  
Peter felt a hand delicately grab his own, a thumb running softly on the inside of his palm. This time it was a woman who answered the question.  
"We don't know Deadpool, not until Spiderman wakes up and Bruce can do his tests."  
"I knew I should have killed the bastard."  
"For once we agree Deadpool, let's say we ditch these losers and go hunting for an octopus?"  
"Have I ever told you how much I like you Barton? Or how handsome you are?"  
"Guys...could you shut up...please?" Peter let out a pathetic whimper, finally having enough of the irritatingly loud conversation that was leaving little bells ringing in his ears.

The hand that had been gripping his own was quickly removed as the owner was shoved unceremoniously out of the way.

"Hey Spiderman, can you hear me? It's Bruce?"  
Peter winced lifting a hand to his throbbing head and sitting up slowly, noting the comfortable white bed he had been laying on. The ringing in his ears fading as he sat up and the pounding in his head fading to a dull steady throb, he breathed a sigh of relief. He looked around timidly, surprised to see Black Widow, Hawkeye and even Ironman standing next to a nervous looking Deadpool.  
"Yeah, I can hear you fine Doctor Banner...where am I, what happened?"  
"Deadpool brought you to the Avenger's tower to get checked over, you received a rather nasty blow to the head and were under the influence of an unknown drug."  
"Wade? How long was I out?"  
Peter started as Deadpool appeared suddenly in front of him, pushing Bruce to the side roughly.  
"Only just got here baby boy, you've been out for about ten minutes."  
"Yes and he's been arguing with Tony non-stop since he walked in." Bruce said, elbowing the merc back out of the way and concentrating on Peter.  
"Oh...you said I was drugged?"  
"Octopus shot you with some sort of dart...were looking into it." Tony answered, shrugging.  
"I'll need to take your mask off in order to tend to your head wound...and to run a few tests, just to make sure you're actually ok."

Spiderman gulped audibly, he'd done exceedingly well at keeping his identity a secret from everyone. Especially the Avengers because of their ties to S.H.I.E.L.D. Even Deadpool only knew his first name...not that Peter hadn't been planning to tell Wade everything soon anyway.  
"Don't worry, I'll clear everyone else out of the room and Tony will shut of the security feed in here...Won't you Tony?" Bruce turned to glare darkly at the other man, who flinched back slightly.

"Yeah sure whatever, yo Jarvis turn off the camera feed in here yeah?"  
"Of course , security camera's disabled."  
Tony crossed his arms and raised a challenging eyebrow at the doctor, Bruce simply rolled his eyes and begun shoving everyone out the room.  
"Alright you lot out!"  
"Wait!" Peter winced at the volume of his own voice, the sudden shout causing his head to start thumping painfully again.  
"Can Deadpool stay in here please?"

Deadpool, who had frozen at the first shout, pointed at himself in a 'who me?' type gesture. Foot suspended comically in mid air as he eyed Peter curiously.  
"Please?" He looked at Doctor Banner, willing the eyes of his mask to widen imploringly.  
"Alright." Bruce said softly, shoving Tony out of the room whilst Natasha dragged an unwilling Clint out by his ear. He shut the door and locked it before striding over to the sink and washing his hands.  
Deadpool took the time to walk over and sit tensely on Peter's left, subconsciously reaching for his hand and holding it lightly.  
"I won't look baby boy, promise, I'll close my eyes and turn around."  
Peter smiled softly, squeezing the hand holding his own.  
"It's alright Wade, I was planning on showing you soon anyway. Plus I trust you and you can tell me honestly if my head looks as bad as it feels, ok?"  
Deadpool didn't say anything, merely looked down at their joined hands with a furrowed brow. Wade squeezed his hand gently.  
Peter frowned at the uncharacteristically quiet merc but before he could ask what was wrong, Doctor Banner interrupted him.

"Ok Spiderman, let's take a look at you." Gloved hands reached for the edge of his ruined mask and Peter tensed up, wincing as the mask snagged on the drying blood caked on his forehead.  
He felt more than heard Wade suck in a deep breath next to him, letting it all out with a soft ' _whoosh_ ' of air as his face was exposed.  
"Oh my god." Deadpool gasped; the hand not holding his own was clasped over the lower half of his face, the white eyes of his mask widened dramatically.  
"What is it really bad?" Peter asked panicking slightly, his head beginning to pound even more in stress. His blue eyes looked at Wade's mask desperate for some reassurance.  
"It's actually not as bad as I thought, the cut is relatively shallow. It certainly won't need any stitches. It merely looks bad, head wounds tend to bleed a lot heavier than other injuries." Bruce said quickly.  
Peter breathed out a sigh of relief, ignoring the still silent merc next to him and the way the man was turning his head all around the room as if desperate not to look too long at Peter's unmasked face. Peter wasn't quite sure whether he felt upset about that or not, he knew the mercenary could be quite strange sometimes...and he did look really uncomfortable, maybe Peter should have let him leave with the others.

"Spiderman, I'm going to shine this light briefly in your eyes ok?"  
Peter nodded slowly, the movement heavy on his aching head. He winced as the light was shone directly into his eyes. Pain exploding in his head and he let out a pathetic whimper. A long drawn out growl next to him made him tense.  
Bruce paused.  
"Please try to refrain from killing me if you can help it, I'm merely making sure he's alright...Now I strongly suspect you have a mild concussion, you're pupils aren't dilating fully to the light but it's nothing that warrants a high level of concern... ...please _stop_ glaring at me."  
Peter looked over at Wade, lips twitching in amusement at the way the merc was staring intensely at the poor scientist. It was obvious that Bruce hadn't seen the way the merc's hand was clenched tightly round the hilt of a blade, otherwise he would most likely have been chucked out of the room...Peter wisely chose not to mention it, Deadpool's hatred of all doctors and scientists was infamous after all.

"Spiderman if you could just follow my finger with your eyes please...yep, that's perfect thank you. You're hearing seems to be all ok as well, any problems?"  
"They were ringing earlier, that's stopped now though."  
"Ok, that sounds alright, if you could stand up for me. No rush, take your time... if you wouldn't mind helping."  
Peter stood slowly, Wade wrapped an arm gently around his waist and helped him to stand. The grip was calming and very comforting and Peter relaxed despite the sudden dizziness that assaulted him.  
"I feel woozy."  
"Ah ok, that's quite normal. Let me know if it suddenly gets worse or you feel faint alright?"  
Peter nodded slowly and Bruce smiled gently at him.  
"Spiderman, if you could place your hand on mine and push as hard as you can. Don't worry about using your full strength ok?"  
The young man did as he was told, nearly knocking the poor scientist to the floor when he pushed.  
Bruce chuckled.  
"Good, now count forward to twenty and then again backwards from twenty."  
Again Peter did as he was told, Deadpool's arm still gripping him around the waist.  
"Excellent, if you'd like to sit again and roll up your sleeve I'm just going to get the equipment for the blood tests." Bruce said, quickly striding over to a tall cabinet on the opposite side of the room.

"Hey Wade?"  
"Yeah Pe..Spidey?"  
"How comes you didn't take me to Reed's place? I thought you didn't like Shield _or_ the Avengers?"  
Deadpool shifted uncomfortably, letting go of Peter's waist to rub self-consciously at his neck.  
"I don't but you were really out of it Spidey, and...I was worried...these guys were closer...and..." Deadpool paused, seemingly embarrassed.

"And what?" Peter asked curiously.  
"It's nothing baby boy, Banner's coming back with the stuff."  
Peter frowned at the merc, he was acting a bit offish and he couldn't work out why.

"Ready kiddo?"  
Peter grabbed Deadpool's hand quickly, squeezing tightly. He hated blood tests.  
"Ready Doc."  
Deadpool squeezed his hand back as Peter winced. Bruce gently and quickly took five small bottles of blood for testing.

"Well, I can say for certain that you definitely have a mild concussion. Nothing to be too concerned over, plenty of bed rest for the next couple of weeks and no bright lights or loud noises." Here Bruce paused to look pointedly at Wade who flipped him off in reply.  
Chuckling Bruce continued.  
"No screens, TV, computers, phones, nothing like that ok?"  
"Ok."  
"And no Spiderman." Banner said firmly, crossing his arms.  
"What but!"  
"No but's"  
"Heh you said butts!"  
"Quiet , look Spiderman you do a good job out there but you're injured. A light concussion won't cause you a lot of problems as long as you look after yourself and rest. If you went out fighting...well that pain you've got in your head now will be nothing compared to what it'll be like if you get hit again. Besides we don't know how the drug Octavius shot you with is effecting you, if it's even still in your system."  
Peter sighed deeply.  
"I get it."

"I'll forward any results I have to Doctor Richards for you, I know you generally tend to go to Reed when injured. Reed's knowledge on human biology far surpasses my own at any rate."  
"Thanks Doctor Banner, no offence but I'll feel better going to see Reed for anything medical."  
Deadpool scoffed next to him causing Peter to frown slightly. The merc was muttering under his breath.

 _"_ _Only cause pretty boy's there...blonde spider stealing prick...we used to be blonde too you know. Asshole."  
_ "What was that?" Peter asked, confused. He hadn't heard what Deadpool said but by the look on Bruce's face it had obviously been amusing. _  
_"Nothing baby boy!" Deadpool said brightly, tone soft.  
"So Hulk darling, my Spidey good to go?"  
Banner scowled at the now bouncing merc.  
"Yes he is, but Spiderman? You _will_ go to Reed if your head gets worse? Or you have anything like nose bleeds etcetera...if you experience anything that might seem strange please, please contact myself or Reed. Until we have the blood results back we're assuming that drug, whatever it is, is still active. Ok?"  
Peter nodded seriously and turned to face Wade.

"Hey, don't suppose you'd take me back to yours for a bit?"  
Peter was surprised when Deadpool merely winced, shrugging before sticking a hand into one of his numerous belt pouches. The merc took his hands out and brandished a pair of keys at him.  
"These are the keys to one of my places." The merc tugged his teleportation belt off and handed it to the stunned Spiderman.  
Deadpool never gave that thing to anyone and he certainly didn't hand out apartment keys willy nilly either.  
"Wade what?"  
"Look, Spidey, I've got to stay here for a bit...just to keep an eye on something important...my address is written on this piece of paper" Deadpool held up a small piece of folded paper. "Put the belt on and think of the address and it'll take you straight there."  
"How does that even work?"  
"Science."  
Peter laughed softly, his head throbbing slightly in response. He decided not to question Deadpool, when he had his mind set on something it was near impossible to deter him.  
He would simply have to ask Wade what the problem was later.


End file.
